Current:Home > Finance'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds. -VitalEdge Finance Pro
'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds.
View
Date:2025-04-12 19:12:27
Former NFL star Michael Oher has sued the family that took him in, alleging they never legally adopted him and only sought to profit at his expense.
The legal fallout from his petition, filed in Tennessee court Monday, is still ongoing; however, many know the pain of getting betrayed, disowned or otherwise hurt by their so-called family − and mental health experts say these wounds can run deep.
"Research suggests that the same parts of the brain that process physical pain also process emotional pain, so being cut off or isolated or betrayed or rejected or disowned by your family physically hurts," Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author, previously told USA TODAY, adding that isolation and loneliness brought on by family estrangement can put people at higher risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease and cognitive decline.
The wounds of family pain run deep
Taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy while experiencing poverty and navigating the foster care system, Oher became a first-round draft pick after attending the Tuohys alma mater, Ole Miss. His life story was made into the 2009 blockbuster movie "The Blind Side" after the 2006 Michael Lewis book of the same name.
In his petition Monday, Oher alleged the Tuohy family deceived him of his legal family status and exploited his life for financial gain. He requested they stop using his name and likeness in addition to back pay for any money he may be owed.
He also said he discovered he was never legally adopted six months ago and called the situation "painful." (The Tuohy family is calling Oher’s claims of deceit "outlandish" and "transparently ridiculous," while also alleging this is not the former football player's first attempt to bring legal action against them.)
More:'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher's blockbuster lawsuit against Tuohy family explained
Therapist Gregorio Lozano III previously told USA TODAY the pain brought on by family wounds is a primal one, originating from humanity's earliest ancestors.
"When we experienced a rejection from the tribe, that meant a life or death situation," he said. "Now, we don't have that aspect, but we still have the emotional trauma that can result from that."
For many, family is also a core part of one's identity. When someone is hurt by a family member or kept from having a relationship with their family, it can undermine their sense of self and self-worth.
"A lot of our identity is tied up into our family: 'Who are my parents? What kind of family do I come from? What do we believe?' " Cole said. "When there is this discord or disconnection or fracture in the family, it affects people to their core."
Rejection by one's family can also lead someone to question if something is "fundamentally wrong with them," Cole added, a self-doubt that can impact the other relationships that person has throughout their life.
"You just never feel like you fit in. You don't know where you belong," she said. "You're constantly wondering, 'Is this relationship OK?' You're constantly taking the emotional temperature of the relationship."
More:Michael Oher alleges 'Blind Side' family deceived him into conservatorship for financial gain
My family hurt me. What should I do?
If you're struggling with a family fracture or pain as the result of family, therapists offer the following advice:
- Seek therapy: Family fractures can bring on all kinds of mental health concerns that are best treated by professionals.
- Feel your feelings: Allowing yourself to acknowledge a feeling can be healthier than repressing it, Lozano said. "It's more of what we do with those feelings that matters."
- Build an identity outside your family: Finding passions, hobbies, community and values outside of family can help build self-worth and self-efficacy, Cole said.
- Reflect on how your family fracture may be affecting your other relationships: It's important to take stock of how feelings brought on by a fractured familial relationship may be impacting your other relationships, psychiatrist Dr. Dion Metzger previously told USA TODAY. "When there's an issue within our family and we feel estranged, it does affect how we approach our relationships, our romantic relationships and our friendships," she said.
- Find healthy relationships: For people with fractured families, Cole stressed the importance of "finding other healthy relationships where you do feel seen or you feel appreciated and supported and connected."
More:Joe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture.
Contributing: Chris Bumbaca, USA TODAY; Jason Munz, Memphis Commercial Appeal
veryGood! (9)
Related
- The Best Stocking Stuffers Under $25
- Russia accuses Ukraine of a drone attack on Moscow that hit the same building just days ago
- Treat Williams' Family Honors Late Everwood Actor With Celebration of Life
- The Pentagon is pulling 1,100 troops from the US-Mexico border mission
- Man charged with murder in death of beloved Detroit-area neurosurgeon
- Small plane crash in Georgia marsh critically injures 2, sheriff says
- What is the Tau fruit fly? Part of LA County under quarantine after invasive species found
- Mega Millions jackpot soars over $1 billion: When is the next drawing?
- Family of explorer who died in the Titan sub implosion seeks $50M-plus in wrongful death lawsuit
- Judge denies motion to dismiss charges against 'Rust' armorer Hannah Gutierrez
Ranking
- Residents in Alaska capital clean up swamped homes after an ice dam burst and unleashed a flood
- Chipotle is giving away free guacamole Monday. Here's how to get some.
- Pamper Yourself With Major Discounts From the Ulta 72-Hour Sale
- After yearlong fight, a near-total abortion ban is going into effect in Indiana
- Beware of giant spiders: Thousands of tarantulas to emerge in 3 states for mating season
- The first generation of solar panels will wear out. A recycling industry is taking shape
- The first generation of solar panels will wear out. A recycling industry is taking shape
- Defendant pleads not guilty in shotgun death of police officer in New Mexico
Recommendation
Your Wedding Guests Will Thank You if You Get Married at These All-Inclusive Resorts
Notre Dame cathedral reconstruction project takes a big leap forward
Meet the USWNT kids: Charlie, Marcel and Madden are stealing hearts at the 2023 World Cup
Elon Musk sues disinformation researchers, claiming they are driving away advertisers
Connie Chiume, Black Panther Actress, Dead at 72: Lupita Nyong'o and More Pay Tribute
Sheriff’s deputy in Washington state shot, in serious condition at hospital
Euphoria's Angus Cloud Shared His Hopes for Season 3 Before His Death
U.S. COVID hospitalizations climb for second straight week. Is it a summer surge?