Current:Home > Invest'The ick' is all over TikTok. It may be ruining your chance at love. -VitalEdge Finance Pro
'The ick' is all over TikTok. It may be ruining your chance at love.
Rekubit Exchange View
Date:2025-04-07 11:41:28
If you've been on TikTok at all during the past year, odds are you've heard of the dreaded "ick." Heck, you might have even felt it yourself while on a date.
The ick is a Gen-Zism used to describe the feeling of becoming suddenly (and, usually, irreversibly) repulsed by someone you once found attractive. Did you swoon during your dinner date, only for the chemistry to vanish once your partner pulled out his velcro wallet? You got the ick.
But be warned: Experts say that, if you succumb to this idea of the ick too easily or use it to rule out potential partners too fast, it may be a sign something's wrong with the way you feel about relationships.
Logan Ury, the director of relationship science at the dating app Hinge and author of the book "How to Not Die Alone," says this viral concept, when taken too far, is often just an excuse to sabotage one's chances at finding love.
"The ick is the cringe feeling that you get when a date does something small that suddenly turns you off," Ury says. "Icks are hilarious for obvious reasons, but they belong in a comedy show and not in a dating manual, and you shouldn't reject a potential relationship over a silly moment like this."
More:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
What your icks say about you
Sometimes the ick points to a deeper issue in the person experiencing it. For instance, if someone has an avoidant attachment style, they may use the ick as an excuse to not get close to someone.
Ury says people with avoidant attachments styles put up walls between themselves and their romantic partners out of fear of one day being abandoned or hurt by them. They do this, she says, by using "deactivating strategies," like the ick, in order to make themselves feel less connected to the person they're dating.
"They often create these reasons to separate themselves from someone," she says. " 'Oh, I don't want to get close to someone because I actually feel like ultimately I won't be able to trust them or they'll abandon me, so let me not get close at all.' "
Sara Nasserzadeh, a social psychologist and author of the book "Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love," coming Feb. 6, says avoidant-attached people invent reasons to convince themselves why a relationship isn't right, even when it's going well. This is why, she says, it's crucial to work on any fear of intimacy you may have, so you don't sabotage healthy relationships.
Suddenly repulsed by your partner?You may have gotten 'the ick.' Here's what that means.
The difference between an ick and a deal-breaker
Ury and Nasserzadeh say it's important to know the difference between a superficial ick and a legitimate deal-breaker.
Any person you date is going to have quirks. Some of these quirks may turn into pet peeves or icks. But these alone are not valid reasons for ruling someone out, Nasserzadeh says.
What's different from an ick, however, is when someone does something that violates your boundaries or values.
"Is this really just a quirk? Is it a pet peeve for me, or is it actually a sensitivity?" she says. "If you cross the line, call it off."
Are you dating a narcissist?Watch out for these red flags.
Ury says some icks may also be legitimate red flags if they deal with compatibility. For instance, smoking cigarettes may be more than just an ick for some.
Disagreements about values, such as what religion you'd like to raise your kids, also fall into the deal-breaker category, she says.
But if all your date did was botch a dance move, you should probably push your ick to the side.
"Give each promising relationship a fair shot and don't hit the eject button early over a ridiculous minor detail," she says. "We often think that we know what we want, but we're wrong, and we eliminate very strong potential candidates for reasons that don't matter that much."
Psychopaths are everywhere.Are you dating one? Watch out for these red flags.
veryGood! (98863)
Related
- NCAA hits former Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh with suspension, show-cause for recruiting violations
- 3 amateur codebreakers set out to decrypt old letters. They uncovered royal history
- A future NBA app feature lets fans virtually replace a player in a live game
- U.K. giving Ukraine long-range cruise missiles ahead of counteroffensive against Russia's invasion
- Kourtney Kardashian Cradles 9-Month-Old Son Rocky in New Photo
- A Chinese drone for hobbyists plays a crucial role in the Russia-Ukraine war
- That panicky call from a relative? It could be a thief using a voice clone, FTC warns
- Citing security concerns, Canada bans TikTok on government devices
- Mega Millions winning numbers for August 6 drawing: Jackpot climbs to $398 million
- 2 more suspects arrested in deadly kidnapping of Americans in Mexico
Ranking
- Are Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp down? Meta says most issues resolved after outages
- Pat Sajak Celebrates Wheel of Fortune Perfect Game By Putting Winner in an Armlock
- Time is so much weirder than it seems
- Proof Austin Butler and Kaia Gerber's Love Is Burning Hot During Mexico Getaway
- What were Tom Selleck's juicy final 'Blue Bloods' words in Reagan family
- Ukraine's counteroffensive against Russia can't come soon enough for civilians dodging Putin's bombs
- Brie Larson Seemingly Confirms Breakup With Boyfriend Elijah Allan-Blitz
- 2 people charged after Hitler speeches blared on train intercom in Austria
Recommendation
Eva Mendes Shares Message of Gratitude to Olympics for Keeping Her and Ryan Gosling's Kids Private
Drew Barrymore Shares Her Under $25 Beauty Must-Haves That Make Every Day Pretty
That panicky call from a relative? It could be a thief using a voice clone, FTC warns
Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story Trailer Reveals the Most High-Stakes Love Story Yet
Will the 'Yellowstone' finale be the last episode? What we know about Season 6, spinoffs
'Dead Space' Review: New voice for a recurring nightmare
How facial recognition allowed the Chinese government to target minority groups
A Thai court sentences an activist to 28 years for online posts about the monarchy